Honestly speaking life is hard. I don’t just mean work, but every aspect of life. It feels like you have to always be on for people. At least that is the way it is for me, since I have fibromyalgia. Living a “normal” life is a struggle because there are days I don’t want to get out of the bed. I especially don’t enjoy leaving my house anymore.
Going to the store is a challenge for me. It is draining in all senses of the word. I used to be such a people person. That was until this stupid disease/syndrome got a hold of me. It has changed who I am on so many different levels. I am no longer the bubbly person I once was. My patience has gotten shorter. There is however one positive that has come from this.
My relationship with Jesus has gotten better. I turn to him more often. I find peace in the fact that he told us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.(Matt 11:30). Even with that peace though it is still hard to maintain a great attitude all the time which is what I feel like I am supposed to do. When I am at church I want to talk to people and be polite most days. There are just some of those days, like the ones when I didn’t want to get out of bed. Trying to talk to people then is just plain rough.
Then there are my kids, I love them to death. They can just be a hand full sometimes. Especially the oldest who has the special needs. He can cause more stress which in turn causes fibro flares. Putting me in more pain. I don’t believe he does it on purpose. Either way it happens though. It is in those moments of struggle that I RUN to Jesus. One because I know he will always be there for me and two I don’ t know of anywhere else to run.
Add on top of all of that I am studying for my Masters of Divinity. Which takes up much of my time when the semester is in. With all of these things in mind I know of no other way in life to get by, than to run to Jesus. Sure I can run to a functional savior. In the end what good is that really going to do me?
What trials are you facing and how are you dealing with it?