Being Brutally Honest

Honestly speaking life is hard. I don’t just mean work, but every aspect of life. It feels like you have to always be on for people. At least that is the way it is for me, since I have fibromyalgia. Living a “normal” life is a struggle because there are days I don’t want to get out of the bed. I especially don’t enjoy leaving my house anymore.

Going to the store is a challenge for me. It is draining in all senses of the word. I used to be such a people person. That was until this stupid disease/syndrome got a hold of me. It has changed who I am on so many different levels. I am no longer the bubbly person I once was. My patience has gotten shorter. There is however one positive that has come from this.
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My relationship with Jesus has gotten better. I turn to him more often. I find peace in the fact that he told us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.(Matt 11:30). Even with that peace though it is still hard to maintain a great attitude all the time which is what I feel like I am supposed to do. When I am at church I want to talk to people and be polite most days. There are just some of those days, like the ones when I didn’t want to get out of bed. Trying to talk to people then is just plain rough.

Then there are my kids, I love them to death. They can just be a hand full sometimes. Especially the oldest who has the special needs. He can cause more stress which in turn causes fibro flares. Putting me in more pain. I don’t believe he does it on purpose. Either way it happens though. It is in those moments of struggle that I RUN to Jesus. One because I know he will always be there for me and two I don’ t know of anywhere else to run.

Add on top of all of that I am studying for my Masters of Divinity. Which takes up much of my time when the semester is in. With all of these things in mind I know of no other way in life to get by, than to run to Jesus. Sure I can run to a functional savior. In the end what good is that really going to do me?
What trials are you facing and how are you dealing with it?
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13 thoughts on “Being Brutally Honest

  1. Keep running to Jesus! He will see you through your days and help you in the ways only He can. I have found that relying on myself doesn’t work too well. God provides the wisdom and the will to keep going, and to do well in His sight.

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    • Thanks for the reply Munson. I agree trusting in myself doesn’t get me very far. It causes more problems than answers. James 1:5 tells us that those who lack wisdom should ask and receive it generously. Thanks again for the encouragement. God Bless,

      Paul

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    • Marsha,
      Thanks for your response. While life is a challenge the Lord has given me daily graces to make it through. I am ten classes away from completing my degree. My kids are of course being kids this holiday break, but I haven’t had any real problems with them, and my health has good and bad days. I have found writing to be very cathartic and I also get to interact with people like you through it. Thanks for taking the time to comment I do appreciate that. God Bless,

      Paul

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      • I have been there, and getting my education was a great thing, but I didn’t have the other issues you have. My husband was a minister, and was dying, and not fully in favor of me getting my teaching credential. My father had loaned us money, and wanted it back, and I was doing student teaching and taking 21 units. My mentor teacher and college advisor got into a fight about how they wanted me to turn in lesson plans, and I had to do double or triple the work. I started losing my hair – literally. The good news was that I stuck with it, and had a wonerful career. Life isn’t easy, but I’m glad I’ve had it! 🙂

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      • Congrats on reaching your goal despite the challenges that were laid before you. You’re right life isn’t easy, but in the end I want it to be worth it. Just a guess you teach history? I am happy for you on your career being so rewarding for you. Sorry to hear about your husband.
        Keep chasing your dreams. 😀

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      • Thanks so much! Actually, I taught elementary school, and history was part of that. My last position in education was as a history consultant for Tulare County,CA, thus the TC History Gal. I currently serve as the Immediate Past President of the California Council for the Social Studies and the local Council as well. I retired two years ago, and am trying to break into my next career or writing. My first book, from Arcadia Publishing, will be out in June. Images of America, Woodlake. So dreams are worth chasing, but they aren’t easy. Best dream chasing to you! I admire you for sticking with it.

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  2. Please escuse my grammar this is all new too
    Me.when I read message I was deeply moved.
    I am going through the same thing In so many
    Ways I Struggle am in pain all day I share in your afliction keeping a smile on my face is very hard I am a avangelist a street preacher
    By the grace of God and its getting harder for
    Me too even whant to go outside anymore
    My faith is in Jesus Christ am leaning more on him my doctor told me that I have a high
    Level of enzimes in my blood due to a prolong
    Use of statins I can no longer use corlestrol
    Medication in short my musles are breaking
    Up supposedly detiriating doctors are trying
    To do more reserch on the matter frustrating
    Isn’t the word.JESUS Christ is my hope
    Proverds 4:20_22 Isaiah53:5

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    • William,
      Much grace on your speech. You did well. I am sorry to hear about your muscles breaking down. It is hard to not feel like the person you have known for so long. May the Lord give you the grace and mercy that you need to complete the mission. I understand what you mean when you say frustrating is not the word. It is hard to explain to someone who doesn’t suffer from chronic pain. May you find some more relief in the Lord. Let Him be your guide and comfort. God Bless,

      Paul

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