Don’t ask how I got the title it just sort of came to me. But as I think about it, it makes sense. We should see our families as small communities made up of different people with different interest. It is hard to do most of the time, at least in the Horne household.
I like most parents still see my children as little and not as growing into their own person’s with their own ideas and understandings. Just like a regular community would be made up of people who think and live differently. As I learn these things I have to wonder what the Bible says, and it says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. It therefore reminds me to love my children the same way I would want to be loved.
You would think it’d be easy to remember to love your children or your spouse. Not so much though. So how can we learn to see our children as growing adults? The best answer I have come up with is to give more responsibility to them and see how they handle it.
By proving they can handle the pressure of more responsibility they are then showing me, they can be productive members of society/a community.What we want is for our kids to grow into great adults other people can trust and want to be around.
It has been an interesting journey thus far because my ten year old thinks he has it so much harder than his six year old brother. We have had to try and explain to him, yes his chores and responsibilities look different because he is older and should be able to handle more.
That answer does not often suffice enough for him. It is hard to please him because of his nature, due to his Aspergers. We (my wife and I) are learning how to work with him and his brother. While we don’t give in to his every whim we are learning what battles to fight. Letting the ones that need to subside just drift off into obscurity.
Just like in a regular community not everyone is always going to be happy with the decisions made, it is going to be similar in a family. Take dinner time for an example. Our rule is if we make it you eat it, or you don’t eat that night. This is a rule we govern our house by, just the same way there are rules that govern society.
I want to see my boys grow into Godly men who love Jesus and others well. By becoming such men they will be valuable to their homes, communities and society in general. It may require going through some hardships at home. It requires being disciplined when they’re disobedient.
Once we learn how to be valuable to our homes we can be of value to the rest of society. I have learned while I want my boys to grow, it’s hard to let them do it. I struggle with trust, always have. They haven’t done anything for me to distrust them. I have to learn to let them make mistakes, my fear of them failing is going to hurt them in the long run.
This is where me giving them over to God and trusting Him as their eternal father. He will not sit idly by. Once I realize their value in our home/community and stop fearing them making mistakes life will begin to flourish and grow.
What do you think, can you see how families are like their own little communities?